Sunday, March 31, 2013

My husband is the money problem is too specific?

Problem from a_a_a: Why is my hubby so specific with money matters?

I’ve been married for 9 years, everytime that I have no job, it seems my hubby computes for my expenses. I always quit my job coz nobody will take care of my kids, and during the times i am working and my kids get sick, he will always tell me that its my fault because im not around. I just want to work so I can earn money of my own and buy things and stuff for me and my kids, coz he only buys things that is for the house and not for us, he told us he is just being practical, but what about our wants? specially my kids? all expensive toys of my kids are from my mom and sister. Ive decided not to work to take care of my kids, and even homeschooling them and they are excellent kids, but why doesn’t we get the reward from my hubby? he even don’t take us out, or treat us in expensive restaurants, and he earns more than what we expect, is he really thinking about our family? or his future?

Truly is facts about Why is my hubby so specific with money matters? that you may possibly really need to fix problems ourselves. With any luck , it will help in lots of ways: and build the way you live greater. In hopes facts about Why is my hubby so specific with money matters? might be the most efficient down the line.


Answer by steph

hrm.. sounds like hes a pretty good guy with money and being responsible.. he’s making sure you have a roof over your head and food in your bellies..

in todays day and age its very hard to get buy on one salary.. unless he’s bringing home like a 60 000 some odd a year.. you don’t have to complain about the extras..

i’m sure you guys get the extras when needed.. but not all the time.. and thats complty understandable..

,maybe you can talk to him more about how much stuff costs.. and help figure out the budget to maybe get a few more extras here or there

Answer by Brian

Its tough sometimes to cover all the expenses, sounds like he is VERY careful making sure all your expenses are taken care of, which is a good thing. Maybe you can work when he is home so someone is always around to watch the kids? Nights or weekends?

Answer by morahastits

He’s a selfish, controlling, cheapskate. Dump him. You will get more from him in a divorce as spousal and child support for you and the kids than this loser is willing to give you now.

Answer by Tapestry6

Being a stay at home Mom isn’t the end of the world. Kids can grow up without any expensive toys to play with nor expensive restaurants to eat in so that isn’t an issue.

Homeschooling is good but you mean you never go out with him to say an amusement park, or the movies?

Depends on how old your kids are too if they are under 10 its hard to take them out they are not very disciplined.

Cant’ you drive your kids to various activities? Homeschooling gives you the freedom to take them to museums and further their education at historical sites.. you sound like you need a vacation.

Answer by caribbeanmeme

Talk to him about what you want and what you need. Practical is okay and good but still you need to enjoy life. Children don’t always understand those things. Sounds to me his is a little too tight fisted with money. Remind him you can’t take it with you.

Answer by MeHurdu

I know EXACTLY what you are talking about! When we first married my husband was like yours. But I soon realized after the children kept growing and getting older that his income may have been sufficient but our debts where RIDICULOUS! Then I realized that my husband had too much power, too much ego and not enough understanding, humility and financial wisdom to have full control of the finances. I had the same issues about providing the clothes, shoes medical needs and other needs that aren’t just automatically provided for. Most men go into a marriage without a clue to FULLY provide for a FAMILY. They tend to be satisfied with paying rent and buying food when there are many other needs under the roof that they don’t seem to care about so it goes without be provided. Most young families tend to go into a marriage with an automatic dependancy upon their extended families and that can end up becoming a problem for your need to LEARN how to budget and/or see a need to come together with a plan that will meet all your financial needs. Your desires may seem to be unnecessary to your husband and that can become interpreted as he doesn’t care when he is not used to those desires as needs-such as toys to keep the children busy and exercising or a crockpot to make cooking easier for you. Your resentment can end up making him resent you because you will appear as though you don’t understand where he is coming from. Do your best to approach your husband with your concerns offering him understanding of the pressure he is going through trying to make a living for his family. Be sure to acknowledge that he is doing a great job and ASK him if he thought that you guys could use some advice with your finances. If he says,”no” then you are then forced to begin to fight this fight without him for awhile. Start saving here and there. Check yours and his credit score and if they are low, start working on yours by getting a credit card and maybe get a part-time job to make very small charges on it and quickly pay it off every month. You are now establishing an attempt to improve your credit history. Although my husband makes well over $ 60k a year, we were in so much debt that the VA wouldn’t give us a penny let alone a house. I started changing things in my home and standing up to my husband on issues I know are right and fair and basically demanded respect that I felt he didn’t give me or the children because he was ‘satisfied’ with his “income”. (He rathered I ignored his debts). So I got a seperate account and at first all hell broke loose but I stuck to my guns. Within a year after 20 yrs of having to rent -the VA approved close to a $ 300k home! It may take awhile but if you search for ways to “be wise and independant while still being a good mom and wife” you just may end up turning even your husband life and mind around. When a man finds a wife -he finds a Good thing. And remember we aren’t called “helpmates” for nothing. We have the ability to make it look easy.

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