Thursday, March 28, 2013

(Wife) must twenty-two sucks, right?

Uncertainty by LaLaLa: Is it right for me (wife) to be annoyed by this?

My husband takes “helpmate” to another level sometimes. I mean fortunately he doesn’t expect perfect with house and meals, etc….but whenever he is at home, he is always asking me to do everything. Asks me to set his alarm, wake him up, iron his shirt, tell him what time it is (when he could walk 5 steps to a clock), make his oatmeal, help him change a diaper (on the very rare occasion he changes one he can never do it alone), start his car, get him this or that, etc etc…it’s like he is either helpful or he is being lazy. IDK, it just doesn’t seem like normal adult behavior. He sleeps in while I get up early with the kids so I am already tired and annoyed with doing that every day, and then he accuses me of having an attitude when I complain about all of his requests…

I meant to say helpless not helpful

You guys are cracking me up. Yes his mom was Suzie homemaker. She did it all! I always tell my husband I am not anything like her (except we kind of look alike a like to be glamorous and shop, etc), but other than that I am totally different. She is organized, clean, very servant-like (good quality though), very submissive, sweet, and family focused. I am a motivated person with goals and dreams, very active at church, not the most organized or clean person (I probably would be more so if my kids weren’t toddlers), I do not love to cook from scratch, and I love to be out and about. I am sweet, but I don’t operate the same way. Anyway, he always says he doesn’t want me to be his mom but actions speak louder than words.

It’s really exactly about Is it right for me (wife) to be annoyed by this? you will choose to solve issues for themselves. Ideally this will aid in many ways: and also make yourself much better. With the expectation exactly about Is it right for me (wife) to be annoyed by this? may possibly be a remedy in to the future.

Best solution:

Answer by Carol

He needs to start doing things himself. He seems like a lazy and selfish guy. I’d go nuts if I was with a guy like that.

Answer by pasta fa zool

He takes a man’s home is his castle to another degree.

Sounds like he wants a mommy instead of a wife, or perhaps his own nanny?

Answer by Shakara

YESSS it is alright, i would be if i was you, what happened to equity? i think you should express it to him how u feel when you both are in bed or having dinner, somewhere he cant yell or be upset with u. good luck xx

Answer by Rainbow Delight

Omg seriously this is why I don’t want to get married, ever! It seems like a lot of men are just big kids whose wives are their mother’s.. Where is the excitement in your relationship? You need to give yourself a break. How about you have a lazy week and do hardly anything around the house, let the washing pile up and ask him to iron your clothes and whatnot.. if he struggles with the diaper tell him to practice so he can do it by himself.

Maybe fighting fire with fire isn’t a good idea.. but hopefully he will be able to see what you actually do for him. I don’t think he is just tired from work, because checking the clock etcetera is terribly lazy, and getting you to start his car.. you need romance back in your life, stand up for yourself and be the woman he apparently loves, not his maid. You can do better than this..

Start asking him to turn the channel over when you are sitting nearer to the remote than he is lol. See how long he can put up with his own medicine. When he has cottoned on or got sick of it, sit him down and just tell him you love him but he can’t keep taking you for granted.

Ooh, a better idea! Why don’t you get someone to look after your kids for a week, and go for a break with your girls! See if that can force his ass into gear. You have every right to be annoyed.

Answer by Jamie. Laou

He’s acting as if he’s a single man and your his mother and it shouldn’t be that way, i thinks it’s okay to wake him up for work, but if you make him breakfast ask him to make dinner the next night, and then you could wipe up together yourself work Wife ways wants twentytwo think tell sure sucks stop right relationship problem people night need must love IDK husband home help girl family expect around anything able (Wife) must twenty two sucks, right? httpcatholichelpmate blogspot com

Take turns or just do things together. Like bondage time.

just take turns its that simple, you work hard in the morning, with the kids, breakfast n all that, in the night he makes dinner n washes up after work. yourself work Wife ways wants twentytwo think tell sure sucks stop right relationship problem people night need must love IDK husband home help girl family expect around anything able (Wife) must twenty two sucks, right? httpcatholichelpmate blogspot com or the other way around whatever just take turnss

dont let him make a habbit out of being lazy, get him a G shock, watch for his birthday.

Answer by Gabriel

He needs to get his ass in gear and help out around the house. I work away from my family at up to two weeks at a time and my wife stays home with our three children (she’s pregnant with our fourth). She is strong and independent while I am gone but when I get home I do all that I can to let her get a break, sleep in and not have to worry about all the dishes and laundry. I get up at work around 4:00 am every day but that is nothing compared to having to get up with children in the morning even at 6:00 am. A man pitching in around the house isn’t a new idea, its not a blow to our masculinity its a matter of whether he really cares for you and puts others before himself which I don’t see him doing here. (If he was single he would have to do all those things for himself, imagine if he was a single Father?) When he asks you to do something like start the car for him (unbelievable) call him on it. Tell him that you are already busy trying to get the kids ready or just that you already started it for him more than he has himself. Let him know that you are upset, because he is ruling this situation right now by not caring. Remember the one with the power in an unhealthy relationship is the one that cares the least. Don’t let him because this will destroy you guys. Hope this helps.

Answer by Aella

Yes, you are absolutely in the right to be annoyed with his attitude, its definitely over the top.

You could probably ask him to do things for you next time. Like small household chores when he is home. If he whines or complains you could point out his behavior subtly.

Try and enlist his help for things that you might not even normally need his help for, prepare a chore list at home and stick it on the fridge etc, postpone his help request, pointing out to the chore list and say that you already have something on your plate etc or that he should do something for u too in return.. make a small game out of it, that should probably make him understand that he’s being unreasonable and lazy!

Answer by PBS

Well you have an option here: either stay a door-mat or do something about the slob you married. You must have known this about this person before, but you still sound surprised. Stop whining and start being assertive. You can do this by telling him to take care of himself as you obviously have other things to do. You see the thing is that when we ask other people to do things for us and they keep doing those things, we’ll probably keep asking. If they say “no” or “do it yourself”, they might get pissed to some extent, but if they are even a tiny bit of a decent human being, they will also respect you for your assertiveness. But this dude doesn’t look like fitting into any form of respect for you – and you can thank yourself for that to some extent. So go do something about it, something to turn that situation around – I’m sure you can do that. You know the problem and some kind people have now given you some ideas to move forward. Take a deep breath and go do it, girl, okay?

Answer by HI!

I think you are married to my ex!!! I am guessing he grew up in a household where his mother did everything for everyone, and just grew accustome to that! One day you should wake up early…before the kids are awake. Get yourself made up, give your husband a kiss, and whisper to him, “have fun with the kids, I am going our for a few hours. If you need to know the time, don’t call me, look at a clock” Treat yourself to a nice spa day and lunch. relax, you deserve it!!

Answer by Shea

Why not do the same to him.

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(Wife) must twenty-two sucks, right?

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