Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Husband want to write a letter to his ex-wife?

Quandary made by mudpuppie_80: Husband wants me to write a letter to his ex wife?

I’ve been horribly worried about my step son returning to his moms for the school year- it’s a bad situation. There are 8 people and 4 animals living in their single wide trailer all ranging from a newborn to our 9 yr old boy. No one has a real job, they have to ration food, the kids aren’t allowed out side unless they are at school. Too much responsibility falls on the boy to care for the rest. To make matters worse they were approved a small loan to buy a rent to own (IDK!)house- the deal fell through because of a bad inspection. However they kept the loan and the husband went out and bought a jeep. Not a house, or a bigger rental- a jeep. They already have 3 vehicles, 1 that doesn’t even work. They smoke right on top the kids who have sever asthma…there is just so much I am worried about it makes me sick to know he is going back in 2 weeks. I know that next summer he will come back to us wheezing sucking on his inhaler and having emotional problems that we have to work through again and again because of the other house. He gets so healthy here and then he comes back a total mess. When my husband heard about this he was angry. He said-I know I need to say something but I’m bad at arguing. I told him that he doesn’t have to argue:Simply State that “She is not providing for his needs sufficiently. The situation is unhealthy and has to be remedied period- his welfare comes first. We are willing to watch him until she gets her life in order- if not we will call Department of Family Services and they can do it.” So he said that I need to write a letter for him addressing these concerns. Personally I feel like I have said enough already and he should protect his son – I can’t I’m just the step. I don’t think it’s my place to write a letter. I’ve already put more thought into it than he has anyway. I don’t think I should do it-do you?

I always want to be helpful for my husband if I can- I just don’t want this to be my “war” because he needs to take some action when it concerns his son…

This is exactly just about Husband wants me to write a letter to his ex wife? may need to resolve situations alone. With some luck , this’ll help in several ways, to create everything considerably better. Desiring just about Husband wants me to write a letter to his ex wife? may be a solution inside the foreseeable future.

Most practical answer:

Answer by ?

Your husband is asking for help. Write the letter or notes for him and give it to him. He can take it from there. When our spouses are not good at something, as their “helpmate” we are suppose to help them.

Answer by Sheniquah


Answer by Their mommy!

People writing letters isn’t going to do any good.

He needs to hire an attorney and head back to court to ask for primary or temporary custody.

He needs to collect medical records, school records, ANYTHING he can get to prove that this is an unhealthy situation. He needs to ask CPS to investigate their home. There are laws to how many, ages, and the genders of children sharing a bedroom. That alone could get your husband custody if CPS sees the living situation as unfit.

Answer by WesM

Your local division of family services will take anonymous calls. I would report the conditions of this place and let the State investigate. In the meantime it wouldn’t hurt to write what you think needs to be said and go over it with him. Talk about it, edit it, make changes if need be, but then have him re-write it and work from there.

Answer by vis

type the letter and give it to him to sign that way your out of it, your right your just the step parent and really have no right, but he is asking for help in writing the letter leave your self out of the letter because it is not about you it is about him and the welfare of the child, but with all this going on why don’t he seek temp custody of the child,

Answer by Mia

You dont write her a letter.

You seek custody through the courts.

See a lawyer today.

Answer by MZ. RO

Yes, obviously your better at conveying feelings than he is. You should feel proud and happy your hubby is including you on this and wants your help. Help him and his child. Why not? He can even sign it. It sounds like you both have the same concerns and feelings for the poor child. Do the right thing. God forbid something happen to him and you won’t forgive yourself for not writing a simple letter to maybe to help him out of his situation. The mom probably doesn’t want to let the child stay with you permanantly because she will loose her welfare benefits for him….smh

Answer by CorpCityGrl

I think that you need to encourage your husband to do something. You’re right–you are the step-mother and he should be the one spearheading it because he is the biological father and his words would hold more weight. I also think that writing letters are not necessarily the best idea but opening up a conversation and a dialogue would be more effective. If he cannot show enough concern for this situation, it won’t do any good. Letter writing sometimes is effective, but I don’t think it’s the right course of action in this instance. You CAN call the Department of Family Services and report them anonymously, but I would also suggest speaking with a lawyer about your options before really proceeding.

Answer by djohnsontexas

Well, it seems that your step son is living in the Hills of Kentucky. Why did the courts award the children to his ex wife? Age, not remarried as yet? What this sounds like is that you both need to consider going to court and getting custody for the boy. IF you can offer MUCH better and of course the Boy wants to move away from Mom.

As the wife of the husband whoes son is in trouble so, If you are OK with this deal you should step up and first speak to the other set of parents. Let them know that you could take some of the burden off of them. INSTEAD of stealing her son. Let them see the advantages for them as well since they seem to be more in it for themselves than the boy.

Answer by MN TWINKS

Hire an attorney and demand the mom gets drug tested. They should give custody to you guys. I am sure they doing meth as well. Hate to stereotype, but I am sure they are.

Answer by michelle r

you’ve asked this question before. and someone asked why doesnt your husband just ask his ex-wife if you guys can take care of the boy?

how come it’s not that simple? what’s with all this letter-writing stuff and threatening to call family services?

doesnt your husband have access to a phone? or his ex-wife?

all he has to do is ring her up, say “hey look hun, i was wondering if it’s ok with you if (son’s name) can stay here for a while longer.”

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Husband want to write a letter to his ex-wife?

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